Lost Weight and Still Feeling Insecure?

‘I lost a lot of weight, almost 20 pounds, I’ve dropped down dress sizes, my friends say I look great. The only thing is, I’m still insecure about my body. I thought once I lost weight I’d be happier with my body but now I have these other insecurities that I can’t stop thinking about.’

You can only imagine what it must be like to deal with these thoughts every moment you look at yourself. In fact, you might have experienced them a few times during your lifetime. The moment you get what you want, suddenly, your mind finds a way to trick you into thinking that it’s. not. enough. It’s a torturous thing to live with. You being your own worst enemy and critic. But I only have one mission with this article: to help quiet the ‘you’re. not. enough‘ brain. Here’s how.

Throughout my life, I’ve sat at almost every weight, chubby, too skinny, skinny fat, lean and muscular, you name it. The point where I was most insecure about my body was at every point. How convenient, right? When I wanted to be skinny and I got skinny. It wasn’t enough. When I wanted to be muscular and I got muscular. I was too muscular. Do you see the problem here? As obvious as it is,

I was the problem.

No matter how much I changed I was chronically dissatisfied with my body. The client from the email also radiates a similar energy of dissatisfaction. Honestly, there’s very little I could say that would make her think differently about herself. In the same way, there was very little anyone could say to me that would have made me change my mind.

It all starts with yourself.

I know, I know, how embarrassingly cliché! But if I had thought of something more useful I would have said it. I’m here to tell you that, regardless of how much you change yourself, especially your physical appearance, there will always be something that doesn’t fit your image of perfection. Perfectionism is a sin and a blessing. It’s more of a sin when you’re the moving target. So before you take the next step, let’s sort some things out. This is important, I promise.

1. What’s your motivation for attaining your goals? There’s nothing wrong with being completely superficial (i.e. I need a six pack because it’s beach season). However, I need you to think to yourself for a minute, how will you feel once achieving what you want so badly? How will your life change? Just think about it for a second and let your body feel as though it’s already happened. Done? Ok good. Now that you have that feeling, describe it. Maybe it’s relief. Maybe it’s confidence. Maybe it’s strength. Or maybe you feel exactly the same, as though nothing will change once it happens. When your motivation is a feeling, the opportunities you have to achieve it are endless. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t strive to attain your physical fitness goals. However, it shouldn’t be the only thing you’re striving for. Maybe you want to be fit enough to play on an intramural team or just play with your kids at the park. This leads us to our next point.
2. Zoom out. What I mean by that is broaden your focus to things bigger than yourself. Forgive me for saying this but, fitness does require some level of vanity. Realizing that we should focus our energy on giving and helping others instead of feeding our own insecurities and our ego will put things into a much bigger and better perspective.
3. Zap the negativity. It’s like the plague. Once it seeps into your mind, getting it out is a losing battle. It’s easier to replace a negative thought than to eliminate one. So let’s start with self-talk. Instead of ‘I hate how my thighs look in these jeans’ simply stop yourself before you can even finish the sentence. I’m talking hit. the. brakes. hard. Immediately replace it with:
   a) gratitude ‘I’m thankful I even have these goddamn thunder thighs’
   b) positivity ‘my thighs have come a long way from where I used to be.’
   That’s it. It doesn’t matter if it’s not obscenely positive, it just cannot be negative.
4. Lastly, this one might be a bit difficult to control but, surround yourself with people who believe in you. I know, you can’t constantly cut toxic people out of your life but sometimes it’s necessary, especially if they’re one of the sources of your self-doubt and dissatisfaction. It’s important that you tune out any negative external cues that prevent you from achieving the things you want to. Remember, you don’t owe an explanation to anyone, especially if it makes you happy.

So go forth young grasshopper and blossom.

Marie.